You thought i'd stopped didn't you? Maybe I did. But maybe everything's changed now. The first half of this was written quite a while ago; the second half - well, that was written right now.

finished my last exam about half an hour ago. you don't want to hear about it, but i don't think i've ever written 'Hot Sex!' in an exam before. Or, for that matter, capitalism without discretion is an ugly religion.

A strange thing happened on find some quiet the other day, where a guy posted the link to our humble student radio on some online community. long story short, we had over 1000 listeners at one point, on a radio station that usually draws about 14 at any one time.

now, i do a specialist show, which basically means i play what i like. i thought my personal politics on this topic were unwavering; but, alas, i found myself kind of trying to keep up the energy and adreneline of the previous show, to try and keep the listeners. of course, i was playing good stuff - beulah, apples in stereo, anathallo...but it was all basically pop. i had a lot of stuff with me, and to say 'it was not all pop' would be a gross understatement. i was disgusted with my pandering to the masses, considering that, right there on the show's page, we've got the motto - nothing is any good if other people like it (thanks, mr. stevens).

so, i played something different. which brings me onto the second half of this post - sorry, i don't think there's any mp3s today.

i played some woody allen, something i've been doing a lot of recently it was a segment of one of his shows in 64 or 65, or 68, where he was playing in little posh nightclubs. you can get the CD pretty cheap - it's almost identical to 'standup comic', but about a pound less.

but the point is that i tend to do this from time to time; embody a slightly different persona. this time it's been watching lots of woody allen films, listening to his standup, and reading freud..i'm not sure how that's connected, apart from the neurosis. i picked up a nice copy of freud's general introduction to psycho-analysis, and i'm getting into the dream section. there's also been a fixation on maths, infinity and forever. did you know that there are two types of infinity? infinitely big and infinitely small? and that fibonacci numbers (where the next term in a sequence is the sum of the two previous terms - 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, etcetc) spring up all the time in nature? for example, a sunflower's seeds are set out in spirals, clockwise and anti-clockwise. the number of spirals going clockwise is always relative by fibonacci numbers to the amount of spirals going anti-clockwise - so, say there was 5 clockwise spirals, there would be either 3 or 8 anti-clockwise spirals.

i think the thing that attracts me is the way maths can be applied like this, to make it completely romanticised. did you know that as soon as you have been outside, as soon as you are visible from space, that your image will live on forever? think about how we see light from stars that died 50,000 years ago or whatever it is, it's the same principle. the light reflected off our bodies is now travelling through space, and will do so forever. far enough away and with sophisticated technology, someone could see us standing in a field long after we're physically dead, and long after the earth has been destroyed. it's quite comforting.

but.

i haven't forgotten about this blog, and i'm sure i'll pick up on it soon - it's just annoying that if i want to post any music, it'll have to be through yousendit. maybe next year, we'll have some kind of webspace from that broadband deal.

i have yet to come across a serious downside to all these upsides of living in a house with 11 people.